When Moments Aren't Enough
by justanoutlaw
Summary: Season 6. Henry is so young and has faced so much. As he reflects on the pain from the past and thinks about what's to come, he realizes sometimes living in the moment just isn't enough.


_This idea came to me. There's no real happy ending here, as to me it just goes with what's going on in season 6. I'm unsure if Henry's supposed to know that Regina needs to die for EQ to, for this one shot's sake, let's pretend he just found out. Occurs after the events of 6x05. There's very little dialogue._

" _ **In order for her to die, your mother will die too."**_

The words echoed through Henry's head as he sat in his room at Emma and Killian's. Hours ago, he had heard the news from Belle. She had assumed he knew, after the whole Hyde/Jekyll thing, but no one had told him.

He wasn't even mad that it had been kept secret. All he could feel was hurt.

Emma's destiny was to die because she was the savior. She could use the sheers to remove her magic, but she wouldn't, she had to protect her family. And he understood that, he got that.

He didn't want her to die, of course he didn't. It couldn't be something he accepted or understood, it wasn't fair and it wasn't right. But it came as the price of being the savior. That was enough to live with, to wake up every morning, wondering if it would be his mother's last.

Now, this. His feelings were mixed on killing the Evil Queen in general. Like it or not, she had raised him for most of his life, she had been there for him. She was a part of Regina, almost like a third mother of sorts. That death though, was easier. Because he would still have his two moms to help him through it, he could help Regina with it.

But now, the cost of killing the evil, meant killing the good. Regina would be gone.

He thought of the times she made him meals or told him stories. When he was little and couldn't sleep, he'd crawl into bed with her and she'd rub circles on his back. She knew his likes, dislikes, his fears and his dreams. Even if she didn't always like them, she was still there. Every day, from the beginning. No matter what he said, no matter who birthed him, she was his first mother. As hard as she worked to make him happy, he worked equally as hard to give her, her happy ending.

He had lost a year with her. A year in which, he didn't even know he was missing her. But once he did, he felt pain from it. Every hug, every kiss, he cherished because he was afraid of her slipping away again. But he knew nothing could.

Except this.

He wouldn't be able to hear stories of her father or Daniel; they were in the book but came better from her. No more homemade apple cider or her sitting with him, pretending to read comic books. She would just be gone. All he would have, were the memories.

Emma had missed 10 years of his life. Yet, he never once resented her for it. She did what she felt was best and ever since she met him, she was there. He always came first with her, no matter what the consequence. Had she let him down like Regina had? Yes, but that didn't matter. The fake memories from the lost year were faded and all he had were the real ones, the true ones. The first time she walked him to school, the first time they got ice cream. The time they sat in his castle and bonded.

If she was gone, there would be no more hugs where a part of his face got caught in her curls, no more being called "Kid". His last connection to his father, the one person he could hear stories from now that his Grandpa Gold had gone Dark again. No more walks to discuss things or helping her find her happy ending. Once again, just memories, nothing else.

All he had were memories with his father. And it wasn't enough. The guilt still lived with him that they never got a proper goodbye, that his father died knowing that he didn't remember who he was. How he helped save him in Neverland, how the instant they met, he wanted to try to be a good father. They had so little time together, less than he had with Emma and Regina. He had even figured out he had spent more time with Killian than he ever did with Neal. And it wasn't okay, it wasn't fair. He knew life wasn't, but he would give anything for him back. Regardless, at the end of the day he had his mothers. That had become enough for him.

He knew he'd never be alone, that while he'd be an orphan, he'd never be in the system like Emma. David and Snow would take him in with open arms, he would still see Killian, they'd need each other. And yet...that wasn't enough.

It hurt. Every part of him ached and he wanted it to stop. He wanted to go back in time, before he figured out anything was wrong with the town. Before his grandmother gave him the book, before he thought Regina was evil. He wished they could all just go to New York. No magic, no saviors. Just all of them, Emma, Regina, Killian, Snow, David, Baby Neal, everyone that he loved and cared about. They could find their happy endings and things wouldn't be perfect but no one would have to die.

He felt guilt for breaking the quill but also relief, relief that he wasn't in charge of the book anymore. All magic comes with a price and his was the stress of trying to give people the happy endings. Henry wished he could destroy the book, he wished that Storybrooke could just be like any other town, with any other people. They could keep their personalities, just not have to constantly look for the next fight. David always said to look for the moments, but that was hard to do.

He grew up quickly, his innocence was fading. He longed for one full day where everything could be completely and totally normal. It's what his grandmother wanted, but in Storybrooke, it just didn't exist.

Henry batted away a tear from his eye and spotted his backpack, thinking about running away. It's what his family did best. He didn't want to leave (and even if he did, no one could go over the town line); he didn't want to be away from his family. He just wanted the pain and guilt to stop. He wanted the voices in his head to just shut up and leave him alone, he didn't want anyone else to die. All he wanted, was his family.

He gathered up some things in his backpack and headed downstairs. No one was home, he felt like they never were unless it was to sleep. Once again, they were left to deal with the Evil Queen and whatever she was doing that day. No one had heard from Archie in a while and concern was growing.

Henry didn't want to talk, so the loft was out. Snow would most likely be there with the baby and she'd tell something was off. There'd be people at Granny's, same with the library. But his one solace, the place where he could find peace, was the beach.

His castle was still there, mostly abandoned. He was a teenager; he didn't go much anymore. He sat down, buttoning up his jacket and listening to the sounds of the waves. He was crying, but he didn't even care. He just let himself cry, cry at the risk of losing his moms, crying over his father, crying that no matter how much extended family he had, they would never compare to his parents. He cried for everyone else that had died along the way, like Robin and how Roland and Baby Robin would be left to feel how he did, especially Roland who had lost both his parents. He cried for his mother losing both her parents, along with her first true love. And he cried for reasons that his teenage mind didn't even understand.

He sat there, alone, feeling everything he needed to. Maybe that's why he didn't notice both of his mothers sitting on either side of him, until Emma spoke up.

"It's going to be okay," she whispered.

He wanted to believe that, he had before. But the truth was, he wasn't a little kid, he wasn't a baby, no matter how much they tried to shield him from things, they couldn't. He wanted to freak out and say that it wouldn't, that everything would never be okay again. Even if they somehow found a way around all of this, that the battles would keep coming and as long as magic, the magic he had brought back, existed, that it would just keep happening and happening. The people would die senseless deaths, more fights would breakout. Darkness would prevail every time.

"We're going to find a way," Regina added.

Henry knew she didn't believe that, he could tell. They wanted to make him feel better, it's what they always did. But nothing could, not now. He couldn't even talk to Archie about it, and he wasn't sure if the therapist would be of much help anyway.

Each mom gripped one of his hands and he let them. He looked at Regina first, taking in her raven hair and dark brown eyes. People said, despite him being adopted, they sort of looked alike and he could see it. Yet, what he couldn't imagine was not seeing her face every day. He glanced over at Emma, with her blonde curls and green eyes, his green eyes. The ones they both had inherited from Snow. She was doing her best to give him a reassuring smile and he wondered how he would go on if he could never hear her laugh again.

No matter what, though, he always did what he could to make them happy. And seeing him like this, he knew it didn't. They always told him to express how he was feeling but right now they needed to believe that he had hope. So he squeezed their hands and forced a smile.

"I know," he replied and allowed them to wrap him in a group hug, feeling the warmth of their embrace, trying to sink in this moment. He wasn't sure how many they'd have left.

 _So, yeah. I don't really know where this came from, but I couldn't help but feel like Henry has been through so much and after the scene in 6x05 where he shared his guilt, I felt such pain for him. Knowing you could lose the last two parents you have cannot be an easy burden. I wanted to end this happily, but as I said, the show hasn't given us that yet and I wanted to stay true to everyone's feelings. I hope you enjoyed!_


End file.
